Focus on solutions, practice gratitude

For years, I have been a victim of my so called “stubbornness, laziness, ignorance, arrogance” and etc.  The very people so close to me called me names, labeled me, predicted my future and forced me to look at my life in the most negative way possible so I could change to their liking. According to their theory, my attitude was a problem that had no solution and a disease that had no cure until I followed exactly what they wanted me to do. They complained about how difficult I was and kept comparing me with other women. They wanted me to be like them! The ideal woman that a society portrays.

I refused to believe them. I refused to put myself in a situation where I was forcing myself to please other people. I believed that God created each one of us differently and uniquely. At last that was the simplest explanation I could give my 2-year-old and he’d understand. At least that was a reassuring statement to myself and I stood for what I believed in. So, each time someone confronted me and started to write me all the wrongs that I had, I simply responded by saying “if you have a problem with the way I am, then maybe you should adjust your ways and views to accept me for who I am”

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You see my uniqueness is a problem to the people around me. And instead of them trying to develop or think about solutions to that problem, they keep focusing more and more on the problem and as a result, the problem keeps getting worse and worse. My life is getting miserable. My marriage is getting miserable. My performance at work is a disaster. My health is affected and at times I feel like giving up on everything by simply believing that I am the problem.

However, over the last 21 days of going through the daily gratitude challenge, I have come to realize 2 amazing facts.

FACT # 1: FOCUS MORE ON SOLUTIONS, NOT ON THE PROBLEM

FACT # 2: THE ONLY WAY OUT OF ANY NEGATIVE SITUATION IS THROUGH GRATITUDE

Today I am taking the challenge upon my own shoulder to focus more on my solutions and continue to be grateful for everything life will offer me. I will shut my ears to every negativity and aim to focus more on my solutions. I know the journey will tough. I know I will be attacked constantly but I will not give up. I will not sit and allow someone’s negative opinion to dictate who I should become.  If they think I am the problem and continue to focus on it, then that’s their loss. My job is to create more solutions and continue to practice gratitude.

So, the next time you try to evaluate someone and make premature judgement’s, remember that everyone is unique. The color of their skin, the shape of their face, the way they walk, the way they dance or smile, is completely unique. Hence, we cannot force someone into becoming what we want them to be. We can only learn to accept them for who they are, create solutions to complement their uniqueness and be grateful for the gift of life.

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